barbara walters just said penis...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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