Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
