Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I deserve this hangover.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I have post one night stand depression
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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