C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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