I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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