Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
two words...techno handjob
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
