I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
