Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
