I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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