go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
