is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
