I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
