im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
