one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
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We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
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All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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