He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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