My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
