Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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