drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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