she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
