Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
