drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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