Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
