I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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