your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
