Church boner. Awkwardddd
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
