wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
there was a trapeze. enough said
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Randomize
