I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
