He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
