Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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