So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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