He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Oh god it's open bar.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
