Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We left an ass print on the piano.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
