We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
