real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
