Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
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The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
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come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Who died my cat blue again?
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