; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
