Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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