i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
