so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
