Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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