he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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