driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
