We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
