I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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