i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
