I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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