I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
