hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I forget how to act sober
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
