I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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