I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
