just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Best friends brother. Beat that.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
