and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
