he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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