My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
