See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
