but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
