Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
