So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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