you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
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Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
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Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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