He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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