apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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