It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
