cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
