p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize