I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
