You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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